Port Persona 4 Golden to the PS4 already you fucking degenerates.

Sony’s underrated and subsequently abandoned handheld may have just been too beautiful for this awful world. Despite being a phenomenally impressive piece of kit, even by today’s standards, it failed to attract developers away from Nintendo’s money-printing 3DS.
Despite initially promising sales figures, it’s generally accepted amongst gamers that the PSVita is a long-dead machine, all but abandoned by Sony to be brutally murdered by our Nintendo overlords.  This is makes Sony’s announcement of new colours for the system at last year’s Tokyo Game Show all the more unsettling, like going to your mate’s house to find they’ve hung up air fresheners to disguise the smell of the decaying remains of their grandmother. They’re fooling nobody, and frankly we’re a little worried.

As a result some of the PSVita’s greatest hits have fled the sinking ship to find refuge on the PS4, such as the re-releases of the excellent Tearaway and Gravity Rush, the latter of which inspiring a PS4 exclusive sequel.

This is all well and good, but this leaves the growing question of where the fuck is Persona 4 Golden PS4, then?

For the uninitiated, the Persona series is the perfect blend of a typical (but enjoyable) JRPG “save the world” mentality mixed with the daily life of a regular highschool student. The series found its feet in Western audiences with Persona 3 (although Persona 2: Innocent Sin featuring Hitler as an end boss deserves a mention) with the introduction of social links. Your Social links, which influence the level of the Personas (monsters) you can summon in battle, can be increased by hanging out with your pals. Helping them through their occasionally moving, occasionally super Japanese problems, ranging from helping a classmate’s relationship with her estranged father, to your roommate investigating a student secretly photographing (and presumably masturbating to) the female protagonist in Persona 3: Portable.
Listen. It’s Japan, okay?

These social links will, of course, lead to some super family-friendly romances. While lacking the depth and freedom of choice as seen in Bioware games (Relationships are exclusively heterosexual, and the dirty shaggin’ is only mildly hinted at), they nonetheless add a sense of immersion that the mute, player-insert character is engaging in the game’s universe in a meaningful way.
(Also of note, however: Because Japan is fucking terrible sometimes, the PSP port of Persona 3 allows the female player character to romance a little boy. I cannot emphasise this enough: Do not romance little boys in video games).
amada

Fuck you, Japan. Fuck you.

 

Although Persona 3 has its fans, the correct opinion is that the less NAMBLA-friendly Persona 4 is the superior experience. Featuring zero child molestation, the game instead builds its theme around the suppressed desires and feelings of its main cast, allowing them to develop beyond their typical JRPG archetypes. Perhaps most interestingly for a JRPG, the game features Kanji, a teenager struggling to understand his own sexuality. Whilst it’s never explicitly stated, I might have picked up some very subtle hints that Kanji may harbour some homosexual tendencies

persona-4-bath-house-scene

Maybe I’m reading too much into it.

 

Whilst the portrayal of Kanji’s sexuality can be problematic at best, with developers being unwilling to commit enough to the issue to suit Western sensibilities, it’s fascinating to see a typically conservative genre even try to address these issues. I could write entire novels at how the portrayal of Kanji’s sexuality both interests and frustrates me, I struggle to see this as a complete criticism. Persona 4 makes me care about its characters in ways I rarely care in other JRPGs. I neither remember nor care why Final Fantasy 7’s Barret has an NRA wet dream instead of a left hand, however Persona 4 makes me care so much about its cast that I’m angry at the developers. 

The need to make time for studying for your midterms and hanging out with your mates alongside saving the world sounds, on paper, like a fucking stupid idea. It shouldn’t work, and yet the more relaxed, ‘mundane’ elements of the game have by far become the heart of the series. Indeed, it’s hard to imagine Persona without this feature now. A Persona game without social links is like a Mass Effect game where you can’t fuck a Krogan: totally fucking worthless.

Persona 4 Golden, as everyone who isn’t a cunt will agree, is the PSVita’s, and perhaps the JRPG genre’s finest hour. Which is impressive for a remake of a PS2 game. Adding new characters, storylines, music and additional gameplay options, Persona 4 Golden is the definitive Persona 4 experience. More than simply adding a few extra curios for the remake, the Vita version leaves the PS2 original feeling like an incomplete experience.
Which makes it all the more baffling that this game hasn’t seen a PS4 release. It’s hard to recommend a game that requires a £100 purchase of an otherwise worthless machine, and yet I’m loath to recommend the inferior PS2 original.
The Persona series, in my eyes, deserves more recognition amongst Western audiences. Persona 5 will be released in the UK and Europe on April 4th of this year, and yet all I hear you pricks talking about is Mass Effect Andromeda: A game that will almost uncertainly not feature Wrex’s sweet, angry Krogan love. Which I cannot forgive.

Advertisements

2 responses to “Port Persona 4 Golden to the PS4 already you fucking degenerates.

  1. Pingback: Why Persona 5 should be your first Persona game. – The Moan Office·

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s